Dear Baby Bib,
I never thought I would use the 'f' word with you. But here it is...
You are FIRED!! You have frequently failed to do your job. Which, I might add is a simple one! Time and time again your work performance has failed to meet the easy requirements of catching my son's drool and spit up. Therefore, I see a promotion in the near future to your friend, the mop. Please don't take this too hard. This is more difficult for me than for you.
Sincerely,
Mom
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